kea tesseyman
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I'm flipping the script of traditional dance training in favor of an integrated whole life approach for teens and young adults looking to improve their relationship with their body, mentally, physically and emotionally through movement and self awareness. More about me >
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My 3 Step Attitude Pivot For Challenging Situations

Mindset

In This Post: It’s a fact that while you’re going along having a wonderful day, things are going to happen that really – well let’s just say it – piss you off! It could be plans changed at the last minute, someone being rude for no reason, running late… Whatever it may be, the rest of your day could easily continue in a pissed-off “why me” attitude unless you find a way to pause and reset yourself. Enter my 3 Step Attitude Pivot For Challenging Situations. It will help you to move through any thorny situation and come out feeling like a rose.

My 3 Step Attitude Pivot For Challenging Situations

If you’re a dancer like me, I have to have good energy and feel centered before I dance. So it’s even MORE vital that I put myself in check, stop blaming others for what’s going wrong, and take control of the one thing I absolutely can; my mindset.  

This self-awareness tool can shift your energy almost immediately. 

It gives you the benefit of “saving” the moment and redirecting your energy, to stay positive in challenging situations. It’s a great new secret weapon you can use in future situations when life throws you a curveball.

Think of this 3 step attitude pivot as a practiced routine, like muscle memory kicks in in the studio when training your technique. 

You’ll become resilient, resourceful, and positively in control of your attitude and mood, the more you practice it. So when the big stuff comes your way, you can not only handle it but move through it intuitively and fluidly, just like a dance.

The Mean Girls Experience, everybody’s had one.

I’m sure most of you can relate to having a mean girl experience at some point in your life. This is one instance where I was triggered and my 3 step attitude pivot practice really helped to calm my anxiety, step back into my power, and just laugh.

Scene: When I was young, I had joined a studio in NYC and the girls in the class were really… just awful bullies. The snobbiest, rudest girls you could imagine. I knew I was a good dancer, but in this atmosphere, I felt really terrible about myself and questioned my dancing. 

No matter how nice I was to them, they were like ice queens! Has that ever happened to you? 

My feelings of self-doubt, the need for acceptance, and approval just flared right up!

Then I was like, wait a second! Why am I feeding into this BS?

So, instead of wasting my class trying to make them like me or prove my talent, I mentally went through my 3 step pivot practice and re-centered. Then, I enjoyed the rest of my class and forgot all about those certified mean girls.

With A Simple Realization, I Got My Power Back

This mean-girl experience is just one of the dozens of social situations that have happened to me, and I’m sure you too. But I didn’t always handle it so well. There are times I’ve felt alone, whether I was far from home, or in uncomfortable social situations. When I felt vulnerable I’d get snappy and rude, or panicked by others… which is just not who I wanted to be.

When I accepted that I couldn’t control other people’s reactions, attitudes or behavior, no matter how nice I was or how hard I tried, it was like a wave of relief washed over me. I felt my power return to me. I stopped letting situations consume my energy, and I got my day back!

My “3 Step Attitude Pivot” is just like the muscle memory of choreography. 

We train our muscle memory in the studio constantly so that when we’re on stage, we can focus on performing and making our routine look effortless. Putting that same practice and intention into our thinking and attitude is no different. The energy we feel and focus on is the energy we put out.

So, look at your thinking and mood, your attitude and energy as choreography that you’re rehearsing throughout the day.  When you get thrown off because of life– pause, breathe in deeply, re-center, stretch, and get reconnected to your mind and body before continuing.

The 3 Step Attitude Pivot!


1) PAUSE AND BREATHE

This allows you to slow the momentum of what’s happening inside you

Pause – stop – and simply take 10 big deep breaths.  Feel your stomach expand and your shoulders drop. Inhale 1, 2, 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7, exhale, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 

2) VISUALIZE

Bring in self-awareness and become present again

Now connect your breathing to the following visualization. 3 deep inhales, and 3 longer exhales. (or whatever feels good to you)

Let’s picture a wave, one that grows bigger, taller, and fiercer when your frustration, impatience, fear, or insecurity is building. 

Now imagine a beautiful wave of self-awareness. A wave of ease rolls through you and calms you, centering you so you can rebuild your strength, momentum, and power to set your day back in a positive direction.

3) MENTALLY SHIFT & PIVOT

Smile like you mean it (lol), affirm you have a choice, and shift your attitude

Smile: Whatever you’re doing, do it with a smile.  Even if you don’t feel like smiling, just do it.  It will send happy signals to your brain and the chemicals will shift. 

(Bonus: if it’s people around you that are being negative, smiling in the face of adversity only makes you look cool, calm, and unbothered by their obvious attempts to affect you.)

Affirm: “I’m in control of myself, my feelings come from my thinking. I’m okay.”

Breath, smile, and continue to tell yourself, “I’ve got this. I choose to remain in my power and let any negativity roll off of me. I choose to focus my energy on things that are important to me and enjoy my day.”

Mental Pivot: focus on one thing you’re happy about or looking forward to. Affirm how great you are! (You’ve got this!) Just by bringing positive thoughts to the forefront of your mind, you can shift the energy in you and around you.


WITH PRACTICE COMES MASTERY!

This breathwork and visualization is a skill that you can 100% cultivate and control! 

Carry this 3 Step Attitude Pivot with you! Trust yourself. Practice it regularly and your days will roll smoother than you could ever imagine. I guarantee you’ll be amazed at how well you start to move through difficult situations feeling calm, cool, and collected! 👋 

These three steps are not complicated, or some new hack on energy shifting, they’re simple and easy things. I know it can seem difficult to do when you’re smack in the middle of an upsetting or frustrating situation, but I promise with practice it becomes second nature.

So Remember:

1)    Pause and breath in that wave of calm

2)    Visualize how you want to feel

3)    Smile, affirm your focus and pivot your attitude 

4)  Be proud of yourself for taking the high road! 

You are truly great, it’s ok to have feelings, just don’t let one person or situation ruin your entire day or the way you want to show up in the world.  

You have the ability to pause, breathe, and know who you are. Just reset your mindset and give yourself a hug! Cause yeah, that situation was unpleasant or that person was mean, but this does not mean you should allow one moment to consume the rest of your day.

The simple act of pausing and breathing brings in self-awareness and allows the negative energy to flow out so new energy can flow in.  

Focus on who you are, your greatness, and your goals (even if you don’t feel great at the moment). This reroutes what you’re calling into your mind and your life. Call in that resilient and positive feeling. There will be no room left to worry about negative people or the negative thoughts you were having. 

Once you practice this a few times and get good at it with the small stuff, when the big stuff happens, your muscle memory will kick in and guide you.


I would love to know if this has helped you after you’ve used it in your day-to-day life. 

Comment below! Share something with me that has wrecked your day, or pissed you off! And how applying these three steps made a difference. I love to hear your stories. 💛

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About KEa

I'm flipping the script of traditional dance training in favor of an integrated whole life approach for teens and young adults looking to improve their relationship with their body, mentally, physically and emotionally through movement and self awareness. More about me >

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